Wednesday, September 22, 2010

5 Things More Awesome When Solar Powered

 I am not a fan of non-rechargeable batteries. They are an eye sore that usually fail when you need them long term and I hear that the ooze from the "ripe" ones don't have the best of tastes...But there are alternatives! If any of these things were powered by free energy, then  the world (might) be a much more convenient place. Including...

#5, Robots

Its a simple idea, having a robot that doesn't deplete batteries faster then a Game Boy Advance would be much cheaper. If we really wanted to make these things sentient, they must be able to use their own power sources. Its pretty obvious that solar power would be the cheapest alternative to any sort of light-weight power system. Look at a Gundam, or the Megazord. Can you imagine how much power that behemoth needs to function per minute??

$1,650 in AA's Per Hour
Now strap a solar panel onto it's back, and you have something that just keeps going, and going, and going, and going...Captain Planet would be so proud...

#4 Pets

Seeing how we already have damned cyborg insects, cyber-pets don't seem so far off. Imagine all of the money you spend on dog/cat food. Including the resulting chocolate cake every so often. Not any more! All you need is insert this solar module straight into the skin, and in no time you will never have to worry about Fido tipping over the bowl ever again! (We are not responsible for side effects incurred during night-time).

#3 Cell Phones

Hell, you use it all the time anyway! It is with you everywhere you go. You always have it out texting while either walking, driving, or blowing up the Death Star, so why not take advantage of the same thing that give s your screen that unsightly glare? Calculators have done this for years, then again they take up much less power. Alternately, why not have one attached to the back of the phone, which I see is nothing but a barren wasteland compared to the front! Even if it could not compensate for the entirety of the battery usage of the phone, at least its would extend battery life!

#2 Handhelds

If I wanted to play games inside, I'd use my laptop, or my home console. In the older days of handhelds, these things were the bane of parents across the US for their notorious battery usage. To admit, I owned a Sega Genesis Nomad THAT USED SIX (6!) BATTERIES in it's pack,add depleted in under one and a half hours...Anyway, before my soul is crushed by multitudes of childhood disappointment, adding a solar component to something like the PSP with it's bare back. Would extend it's battery life even more!. If I remember correctly, even the GBA had a solar accessory.

Ha! Imagine the battery life this thing if it was backlit!
#1 Laptops

Shame to anyone who didn't see this coming! Even though the laptop have allowed us to leave the home not tethered to the table, it also left us with rechargeable batteries, as in batteries that you need to charge often! Thus, we still feel the need to carry around the power cord to fill up again whenever it has a case of electrical diarrhea,. This thing stick out like a sore thumb, to be tripped on, pulled, and cut. Why not clip a solar panel on the back of the screen. There is literally nothing on the back of most laptop screens other than a snazzy emblem of the manufacturing empire that produced it. This gives the opportunity to leave a large panel on the back, making it look like the world's largest holographic Pokemon card.